Halloween '15

A yearly tradition of mine is to draw a baker's dozen monsters for each day leading up to Halloween. It started off with just the classic spooks, but has since gone on to cover everything from mythological beasts to literary nightmares to unsung creepy things I think deserve more attention.


It's a poorly kept secret that, in order to cheat death, the Lich placed his soul in a cursed amulet, and if one were to safely capture said amulet they could control or forever destroy the Lich. What is a well-guarded secret is that this amulet is NOT the heart-shaped gem conspicuously dangling in the Lich's ribcage -- that'd be the most obvious spot ever -- instead it is located in... well, if I said that it wouldn't be a well-guarded secret, now would it? And to further protect himself, the Lich has many fake amulets hidden, too, all in ridiculously convoluted hiding spots needing all manner or absurd requisites to find since "buried under this one tree" would sound suspiciously easy.

Of course, nobody has ever actually went looking for the real amulet. Everyone seeking to end the Lich went after the heart, found out it was a fake, and was immediately killed by the Lich. Still, good to have back up plans...


At first this demented barber seems normal enough, a bit eccentric but cheap -- he only charges "two bits", which can be literally anything as long as there's two: two dollars, two pennies, air from two lungs... Of course there's a catch. While he's busy working, the barber sings or hums "Shave and a Haircut", fully expecting his customer to shout out "Two bits!" in return, although he neglects to tell anyone this. If you don't properly respond (and no, knocking twice doesn't count), he'll keep shaving and shaving until there's nothing left, and keep on going until the chair's empty.


In order to clear the way for their invasion, the aliens decided to create a horridly gigantic monster using one of Earth's own lifeforms. Alien scientists scoured the soon-to-be-conquered globe for the most clever, resourceful, and determined animal they could find (it also had to be plentiful in case the embiggening process needed to work out kinks) --- which they all agreed was the common grey squirrel. And so the extraterrestrials mutated and modified the rodents until they had a suitably unholy giant ready to trash the planet, with one of the invaders plugging their flying saucer into the brute to help guide it to its objectives.

The squirrel, thoroughly pissed that it is forever too big to enjoy tasty nuts, begrudgingly switches to cars, trains, and the occasional tank. One day, it hopes to tear into that UFO on it's back.

While largely a joke about how aliens not really knowing about the planet they're only dimly familiar with, anyone who's maintained a bird feeder should appreciate squirrels being labelled "Earth's Smartest".If you haven't maintained a bird feeder, know that "squirrel proof" is a major selling point as well as an oxymoron.


Henchman-for-hire, Igor has served a great many masters, everyone from Dracula to Frankenstein to Moreau, even a parallel universe version of himself -- all of whom died in horribly miserable ways. Ever the opportunist, Igor snatched up all his employers notes and plans for his own personal use... though after witnessing all those deaths, undeaths, and redeaths he's far too scared to actually carry any of them out. So instead he has his new masters try everything, taking notes on what they do and don't do, and making sure he's fully behind them when something inevitably blows up in their faces.

A common question during job interviews is whether or not Igor himself is a creation of some long dead mad scientist. No, he's just an ugly, ugly man.

Giant Spider

The tiny little spider wove a monstrous puppet to protect himself by scaring the bejeezus out of everyone else. An obscene exaggeration of a real spider, the grody puppet is infused with all of the fears and myths spawned by the ignorance of arachnophobia. Whatever a terrified mind comes up with to justify killing a miniscule arthropod, the puppet is.

Other spiders have questioned this tactic, claiming it just reinforces negative stereotypes and that spiders should instead work to show humans their positive attributes. But the tiny little spider DID try, once very long ago. His attempts at looking adorable and helpful were met with shoes and newspapers, and now his heart is forever hardened.

Did you know? Nobody in Australia has died from a spider bite since 1979, thanks to the development of anti-venoms.

The Fly

Flies have been imitating their killers for millions of years, it was only a matter of time before they started mimicking us...

As much as I like making "Cronenbergs", I just had to try out a "Wollheim" (look up the short story Mimic)

Mr. Hyde

As the manifestation of Jekyll's dark side, Hyde sets out to do everything his better half won't. From murder and prostitution to popping children's balloons right behind the elderly, nothing is too scandalous or too petty.


To eat another human, to utterly dominate another by absorbing their entire being, is such a deplorable act that it can warp the consumer's body and soul into a cannibalistic monster -- the Wendigo. In this form, the former person has an insatiable appetite for human flesh; literally their stomach twists and grows in such a way that it never can be filled. Oftentimes this hunger ultimately leads to the Wendigo devouring itself.

The Wendigo also remains rail thin regardless of how much it eats, so thin that it's nearly invisible when viewed from the side -- a trait used to ambush unsuspecting prey.

Ghost Ship

This haunted vessel was more than happy to spend eternity resting at the bottom of the sea, but not on becoming a coral reef. It didn't kill off its human crew (and rats, so many rats!) just to become infested with millions of tiny little squatters. At first the ship was able to avoid the pests by staying on the move, only resting in the same spot for a few days at a time. But after an especially nasty storm tore it in two, a colony has taken over the stern and now relentlessly chases the remaining half. The ghost ship dreads that it's the spirits of the crew seeking revenge... but the coral just really likes the wood it's made of.


As punishment for killing a certain warrior king (he was delicious!), this fairy has been charged with notifying the king's family whenever one of their members has or is about to die, which she does with a blood-curdling wail. She also keeps track of the family on her gown (more for her own sake than anyone else's), clawing out the portraits of those that've passed away. Over the centuries she's had to replace it quite a few times. If the family tree were ever to completely die out so would the Banshee, thus to ensure her own survival the Banshee has to make sure the king's descendants prosper and thrive and not all run off a damn cliff.

With so many descendants now with so many different surnames in so many different countries, the Banshee sometimes just completely phones it in, randomly screaming while doing fun banshee things..

Evil Animatronic

After decades of playing monsters in everything from seasonal amusement parks to big production movies, this animatronic started to believe that it actually was a villain, that it's true purpose in life was murder and mayhem. Of course, it's existence as a puppet has given it an incredibly warped sense of reality, where the dead get back up after a few minutes, actions must be repeated endlessly, enemies don't quite hit each other, and people shout at bright green walls. The animatronic, admittedly, doesn't particularly understand these quirks but nevertheless forces his victims to obey them. Needless to say, most are driven mad instead of killed.

Bride of the Vampire

Once a beautiful woman, the Bride has been transformed by the Vampire to be his loyal consort, a role she took perhaps too well. She was weirded out at first, naturally, but then she realized she traded a few fleeting year of beauty for effective immortality, a gigantic castle, freedom from all of society's constraints, and a husband full of tasty blood. The Vampire wasn't offering that last one...

Fallen Angel

After the Fall, this angel was so tormented by guilt and regret that it devoured its own head to escape. Now it's on a mindless rampage, killing and eating anything it comes across, whether they be human, fellow demon, or even inanimate object. ... or so most would believe. In actuality once the fallen angel catches it's prey, it assumes a more civilized posture, regurgitates its head, and asks its quarry an intense moral dilemma -- impossible choices like would you sacrifice your own child to save the President or vice versa. As soon as the victim finally makes a decision, the angel uses its evil powers to make the dilemma a reality (or at least convincing enough) and feeds upon the victim's anguish.