Halloween '16

A yearly tradition of mine is to draw a baker's dozen monsters for each day leading up to Halloween. It started off with just the classic spooks, but has since gone on to cover everything from mythological beasts to literary nightmares to unsung creepy things I think deserve more attention.

Man-Eating Plant

The man-eating plant does as its name implies. It attracts its favored prey by smelling exactly like what no human can resist: bacon! The plant even gurgles its stomach acids to sound like sizzling breakfast meats. But humans aren't stupid enough to simply walk into a flower's mouth (even if they ARE stupid enough to walk into a forest chasing bacon), so the man-eater imitates a corpse to assure the humans it is dead and safe to gawk at ("Hey, maybe the petals taste like bacon! And it'll be vegan!") and not at all notice the vines about to strangle them.

The carnivorous flora detests dogs which also get drawn in because of the smell -- too much fur and slobber. Fortunately canines don't follow for the corpse trick, and make marvelous pollinators.


The gargoyle dreams of flying, but he isn't sure if concrete wings will allow that to happen. He could try and see... but if it didn't work the poor gargoyle would assuredly plummet to his death. Every night he tries convincing himself to just go for it, and every dawn he goes to sleep not having done anything. A thousand years later, he hasn't budged an inch...


A vile sea fairy, the Nuckelavee takes the form (at least, while on land) of a nightmarish skinless corpse, an unholy fusion of horse and rider, with a head more massive than its neck can support and joints that move in a way joints should not. The Nuckelavee spreads disease and despair wherever it goes, and is generally just an unpleasant fellow.

Mercifully, the Nuckelavee cannot tolerate water, and avoids even the tiniest of streams at all costs. Not because it fears cleanliness as some would claim, but because, as a sea fairy, any contact will begin to ‘melt’ it back into its true form. Whatever that even is… hell, maybe it's actually cute?


A demon beast from the netherworld, the dragon’s very existence threatens the natural order -- crops wither, animals drop dead, waters stagnate, plagues spread, metalworks corrode... even the dragon itself struggles to maintain its own corporeal form. To make matters worse, the little hellspawn is a violent and petty monster, regularly strangling entire herds of cow and setting their farmers’ homes on fire for simply *not* being in the way.

Therefore, it is our sacred duty to utterly destroy the blasted beast and send its twisted mockery of a soul back to the fiery depths it came from. It may claim the lives of many noble men, but at least our fallen warriors will go to a better place.

... hopefully. I mean, that’d be pretty awkward if they ended up where we’re trying to send the dragon back to.

Sideshow Freak

(click for larger image)

A traveling sideshow displaying a whole host of splendiferous, horrigust, but mostly kinda dumb attractions. Nevertheless, the host (who makes it a point to never give out his name) is always on the lookout for more and customarily picks up something from each town he visits.

He also takes on new human hires, but they never seem to make it to the next venue...

Lake Monster

It is generally accepted that the monster of the lake is a type of plesiosaur that survived the great K-T Extinction and somehow or other wound up in a land-locked lake. Upon hearing about this amazing ancestry, the lake monster decided to return to his oceanic roots. Naturally, with no rivers and no legs, this aspiration is rather difficult, made even worse since he doesn’t have a clue what direction the ocean even is. Still, he’s determined to get there by any means necessary, whether that means crawling on land, digging tunnels, or stuffing himself into delivery trucks bound for someplace that sounds ocean-y.

If only he knew his ancestors were really spinosaurs – he’s already home!

Plague Doctor

When the plagues came and decimated the population, the people were desperate to find anyone that could possibly help. What they got was a stranger calling himself G. Barbatus Voltaire, PlD (the "Pl" is for "plague"), a grim eccentric fellow with a bizarre wardrobe he claims is explicitly tailored to counteract diseases. While he is willing to treat as many patients as needed, the doctor isn’t running a charity: on top of a considerable sum of money, Voltaire demands full access to the dead, regardless if they died from the plague or not -- for research purposes naturally.

Some accuse him of being a vulture, preying on the poor and vulnerable. The doctor invariably assumes they’re simply mispronouncing his last name, and politely corrects them. "That's 'Volt-AIR', dear sir, as in the AIR you breath."

Rawhead and Bloody Bones

Rawhead was once a walking, talking razorback and magical familiar to a kindly old witch, and was perhaps too fond of eating out of the garbage. Nevertheless, hog and hag were the best of friends and rarely left each other’s side. But on one of those days were he felt like being on his own, Rawhead was killed and eaten by a certain hunter who never got along with the witch and viewed the pig as just an animal (“Besides, she can always make another”). Upon finding out what happened, the witch immediately tried to bring her pal back from the dead, using all the darkest magic she normally steered clear of. Although his flesh and offal were forever gone, Rawhead’s bloody bones were able to reassemble themselves –if imperfectly- and the reanimated razorback sought vengeance.

Unfortunately, the witch never got her friend back. After dispatching the hunter, what had been Rawhead kept up a rampage, sometimes against those that had done some wrong, but mostly against those who just happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time. The bloody bones often supplements itself with the remains of other dead animals, but it always keeps Rawhead’s skull as it is.


The genie is a horribly ancient being capable of granting wishes. It offers three to anyone that asks, but they rarely get past their second. For you see the genie not only takes a very literal interpretation but it also leads its victims into choosing their words very poorly. Things turn out so drastically wrong that most won’t even attempt the old “I wish I never met you” wish, lest it wipe out their memories or get them stuck in a time loop or some other misery.

Why would the genie do such a thing, you ask? To teach humans a lesson? Because it feeds on schadenfreude? Well, partially, but mostly because the Fates do NOT like anyone messing with their meticulously woven tapestries. A small ironic tragedy is but a loose thread compared to restitching destiny...

Voodoo Doll

A curse-conjuror for hire, the Voodoo doll seems a lot more interested in actually stabbing itself instead of hexes or payment, so much so that it only seeks out jobs that require BIG spells. Honking huge ones that’ll need something like a rail spike or a cactus to pull off. And if things get a little too out of hand, the doll can always just stitch itself back together (yay, more needles!).

Don’t be fooled, though, the little masochist still wants a monetary payment. If you just hand it a few needles, it’ll stab the both of you until it gets its fee. And a few extra bucks to buy some cleats...

Iron Maiden

A deranged torture device created as a museum piece (but supposedly based on a “super true” medieval design), the iron maiden grew madly obsessed for the taste of human flesh after a tourist accidentally pricked their finger on one of the spikes. The metal monster’s rampage eventually lead her to devouring her own creator, and the museum was closed and forgotten. At least until a certain entrepreneur bought the building for dirt-cheap...

The iron maiden can’t stand blood, however, so she drains all of it out and -- and -- erm, hey, little ragdoll? Do you mind? You’re kinda killing the mood here.

Mole Men

The mole men are content to stay in the impossibly dark depths of the earth, but the neighbors have been steadily growing louder and louder. Perhaps it is time to pay them a visit, to see if maybe they’ll tone it all down a little (they sure didn’t seem to hear the old Doom-a-Broom-a…). The moles don’t mean to judge or anything, but does this Lucy Fur person ever sleep? It can’t just be rowdy parties 24/7, right?

Horror Host

Tela Lugosi runs a show that plays nothing but bad horror movies while she mocks them and rattles off screeds of useless trivia, though she doesn’t seem to have an actual definition of “bad” and oftentimes gets so engrossed in a film that she forgets she’s supposed to be running a show.

Occasionally, the films Tela plays will be… different. (In)famous stars will inexplicably be the opposite gender, that awful monster movie will somehow be on its twentieth sequel, the night sky will be perpetually dominated by a strange planet, flemflarminants will expollivvy snnnnnnnnnnr, teddy bears will be spinning spider webs. The audience, as it turns out, loves these bizarre mishaps, though Tela herself is utterly oblivious to it all and will go on as if she’s watching the “correct” version of the scheduled film.